Salty and Cara – Purple Peak 1
Love and crime in a world of fruits and vegetables – A delicious fable (Third Story – First Episode): A revelation sets new events in motion. And this time Salty has high aspirations.
– New Salty and Cara Info Page –
What is this all about? [Salty & Cara – Info Page: Overview, table of contents and background]
Back on the Block
Hanano’s mood had been dark since Lord Mabola had announced the approaching audience at the royal court of Big Valley. He brooded all the way to the door of the palace’s central hall. There, his expression changed radically. Then the large portal opened.
“Count Lanceolato Fitzalani XII and Master Quentin Cumberman of Cumberman & Cumberman Investigations in New Valley.”
They walked along a long line of curious observers in the most fashionable clothes and hats. Then Salty’s eyes fell on the queen. “Wow,” he said involuntarily. The large pineapple was the most beautiful fruit he had ever seen, except perhaps for his starfruit.
The queen noticed his awe and smiled.
“That happens, don’t worry. It’s just bad for you because now she has you. Works every time,” Hanano muttered without moving any part of his face.
“She looks amazing. And isn’t she a little young for the king?”
Hanano fought back a grin: “He is her fifth royal mate. We have known each other for a long time.”
Salty was confused: “Her fifth …? Oh!”
By then they had reached the place directly in front of the thrones. A servant told them that the king and queen were now ready to consider their matter.
Hanano took a short bow and motioned for his companion to do the same.
“Count Fitzalani!” the king said, genuinely pleased to see Hanano, “It has been a long time since we have seen you. We are so glad to see you alive and well. There have been disturbing rumors of your possible death.”
“I am pleased to see you as well, Your Royal Highness. But you know me: Rumors of my death are almost always greatly exaggerated. Or tactical.”
Then the queen spoke: “We, too, are most pleased to see you again in our humble halls, dear Fitzalani. How long has it been? But now you are back.”
“Your Majesty, I am sure you understand that I have retired to a quieter place and now live a completely different life.”
There might have been an understanding between gentlemen with the king, but with her it was of no use: “Sir Lanceolato …”.
The voice was much sweeter than any fruit should be, and Salty felt the ground beneath them turn into a deep puddle of syrup. The king was royally amused, for he knew his wife too well. When she spoke to Hanano the second time, he almost burst out laughing, but he composed himself.
The divine pineapple continued her intriguing approach and Hanano could not help but smile, even though he knew exactly what was coming: “… dear Sir Lanceolato, we understand your need for some rest after such a long time of outstanding service to your king and queen. We are so … pleased that you have decided to return to your former duties. Lord Mabola will provide you – and your most promising associate, Master Cumberman of New Valley – with all the necessary details of your new assignment. He has taken the liberty of informing the Mayor and the major clients of Cumberman & Cumberman Investigations that Master Cumberman will not be available in the near future. Thank you very much. And we would be delighted to have you as our two special guests at the ball tonight.” And in a much lower voice that only the immediate audience and the king could hear: “Gotcha”.
Hanano turned and took Salty with him, who had not quite grasped the meaning of what had just been conveyed to him, and must have looked the part.
“This is good for you, Quentin. It means that the Queen of Big Valley has just taken you into her personal service to defend royal interests. And she has made sure that everyone knows about it. So not only will you be royally compensated for the next investigation. She also made it clear that whoever messes with you, messes with her. Which is about as good a life insurance policy as you can get as a civilian.” After a short pause he added, “And yes, as you may have guessed, the real power in this valley and beyond is the Queen. The King merely represents and travels. She tells him what to do. Very gently, of course.”
“What was that ‘gotcha’ about?”
The banana sighed: “She let me retire on one condition: If I decided to play ‘dead,’ I had to stay out of trouble, because any action on my part would be interpreted as her doing. After all, I was her top special agent and personal confidant. And we agreed that if she ever caught me in the act again, I would have to resume my work for her.”
Salty did not know what to say: “You risked all this to save me and Cara? Thank you!”
“It’s okay. A bartender’s life can only be so exciting. And that sly fat tomato had already found out anyway…”
The voice was much sweeter than any fruit should be, and Salty felt the ground beneath them turn into a deep puddle of syrup.
Side Notes:
- Those of you who are fans of Quincy Jones know, of course, that the title of this episode is the same as one of the most successful albums of the wonderful master of groove. His situation at the time of that album’s release was a bit like Hanano’s here – back after some time, a little calmer and wiser, but still at the top of his game.
- If you’re curious about what happens next, well, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait until the last Friday of next month. As always.
- You have no idea what is going on? Well, maybe take a look at the [Salty and Cara – Info Page], the [Salty and Cara – Who is Who] page or the [Salty and Cara – How About] page.
Needless to say, the stories about Salty and Cara are pure figments of my imagination. No resemblance to any person or place – present or past – is intended. But I am sure you have already figured that out 😉